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bruce-wqyne

The Incredibles 2 can just be 2 hours of the Parr family chasing their flaming-laser-shooting-shape-shifting-lighting-conjuring baby around the house trying to change his diaper and I would still pay to see it 15 times

space-australians

constancebone-acieux

Fic where all of the Avengers are trying to teach tech stuff to Steve (especially Tony who just gets so annoyed at his apparent tech incompetence) but he just seems super hopeless at it until one day one of them stumbles across a youtube account that’s filled with a series of videos titled ‘How Long Can I Keep My Friends Convinced I Have No Idea What Technology Is’ and it turns out he’s been gaming them for YT hits for months.

wombatking

“How do I make the Google do the thing” has over 30 million hits alone.

obeechris

@copperbadge why is this screaming your name? :)

copperbadge

It works even better if you put it in a universe where they all have secret identities, so rather than Captain America conning, say, Hawkeye, it’s just some super built dude who for some reason (probably that he’s blond) is vastly underestimated by his equally anonymous friends. A debate rages constantly in the comments about whether that guy IS Tony Stark or just a ringer.

darthstitch

a. Steve’s username is brooklyn1917 and the top question he keeps getting is “Are you really Captain America?” The other question is “Please tell us if you’re actually Chris Evans.”

b. Steve eventually makes a video to address these two questions. Except he basically spends the video laughing for like five minutes and then just smiles this ACTUAL LITTLE SHIT GRIN and then goes, “No, I’m not Chris Evans.” It drives his fans into a frothing frenzy.

c. After the “How Do I Make Google Do The Thing” debacle, the next most popular videos are “How Do I Get My Email Through YouTube?” and “Why is My Email Not in My Mailbox Outside My Door?” There are varying reactions among the Avengers for this. Natasha’s “I’m Going to Kill You Very Slowly™” Face is terrifying. Clint’s “There Is Not Enough Coffee In the World” Lament is priceless. And Tony…. well. Tony’s Rant is Lord of the Rings Epic with Fan Fiction thrown in.

d. Thor is the first person to figure out that Steve is a Little Shit™ and totally joins him on the Trolling.

e. Bruce was the one who actually discovered the YouTube channel. He was promptly bribed into silence by copious amounts of Sarah Rogers’ Patented Chocolate Fudge Magic Brownies™.

f. Bruce’s favorite video is the Instagram Saga, in which Steve Rogers Has Everyone Else Convinced That He Thinks This Is Really a Telegram Service.

g. Currently, Sam Wilson is about to be bribed into keeping silence and to aid and abet any and all shenanigans.

h. Peter Parker is one of Steve’s number one fans and is responsible for feeding Steve more ideas in his YouTube comments.

namida221b

unpretty

i feel like wonder woman could get away with throwing batman over her shoulder to carry him away exactly once, just because she would have the element of surprise. batman prepares for everything but there are limits. if you were batman would you ever in a million years expect a woman who is two inches shorter than you in one-inch heels to just pick you up and leave like she’s carrying a bag of sand to build a wall. like you are the victim of a cartoon caveman from the fifties. i postulate that you would not. maybe in her arms like a lumberjack’s bride, but a fireman’s carry? while he is not only conscious, but entirely capable of moving under his own power? this is the one scenario that batman never prepared for and he suffers the consequences. she could never get away with it again and so she doesn’t even try but from that moment on the possibility is always in the back of his mind. he is on alert. he wants her to try again so he can prove it won’t work this time. she never gives him the satisfaction. he can never explain to anyone how he is suffering. no one will understand. he stands on a rooftop in the rain and broods.

queeringfeministreality

I love this?

themanicnami

Artsy Witch Ideas/Tips

themanicnami

For all of my witches out there that are artists or just love art of any kind, here are some things to consider adding to your craft.

Use vine or compressed charcoal dust to make black salt
Use sketchbooks as unique grimoires, book of shadows, book of cosmos, dream journals, etc that allow you to use markers, paints, etc to your heart’s desire
Red liquid ink can substitute for blood
Black liquid ink is good for curses especially for blinding, confusion and chaos
Blue liquid ink can represent water or the ocean
Yellow liquid ink for divination
Green liquid ink for protection and healing spells
Enchant your calligraphy pens for sigil work to strengthen the sigils you make or spells you write with them
Use doodles of people or how you see a person for taglocks in curses and bindings
Melt crayons for wax seals on jars or other spells by placing them in intense sun or heating them in a wax melter (use caution that you don’t heat them too high)
Melt crayons and mix with coconut oil and olive oil for anointing oil corresponding with the colors you use (also can be used as lipstick if desired)*
Use scrapbooking paper in your grimoire to give it unique and artsy pages
Use your paints to make painted spells. Make a sigil and paint it onto your page or canvas, and based on the sigil’s intent once dried paint over it an image that corresponds with that intent to activate. Hang up in your room or home. Cleanse and charge regularly
Glitter my witches, great for color magic and jar spells (note glitter is not good to be tossed into the environment so please don’t)
Write down a person or ‘force’ in your life you wish to remove and use erasers to erase it away as a simple severing spell
Use your dirty paint water for curses or inspiration spells
Use stickers to seal spell jars
Unable to burn something in your apartment? Drench it in black ink or paint instead
Use mechanical pencil lead in curses by break it up. very effective for writer’s block and creativity block curses
Bead enthusiasts or jewelry makers, use your beads to make spell/enchanted jewelry based on colors, shapes, and letters used in it for correspondences
Make your own ouija boards, crystal grids, pendulum charts, etc on some matte board or foam board using paints to make unique affordable tools
Use chalk dust for warding and protection spells
Buy chalkboard paint to turn a wall or other object into a chalkboard for sigil use, spell writing, organization, etc
Use those plastic reusable paint containers for small portable spell jars
Sharpies and black markers are good for curses in general
Use your color wheels for divination via colormancy
Use modeling clay or pottery clay to make your own offering bowls, statuettes and poppets for a variety of uses
For a quick and easy black mirror simply paint the back glass of a picture frame with black acrylic paint. It may take several layers
Reuse bottles and cans by painting them up to make them witchy containers for your tools, art supplies and other storage purposes
Make drawings, write poetry, write stories, make pottery, make a painting, etc to make as offerings to deities, fae, spirits, etc. Just be sure not to sign it if it is for fae (your name can give them power of you)
Use glue or tape to seal spells, for binding and for strengthening spells
Use whiteout for banishing and invisibility spells
Use henna, temporary tats or body safe paint for fun body sigils
Save pencil shavings for inspiration and creativity spells
Enchant your art supplies to bring you creativity, focus, motivation and inspiration when you use them
Use your paints to paint rocks colors for easy color magic
Turn your name into a sigil to sign your artwork so people will recognize it as yours (or other such desires)
Use used paint sponges to absorb negativity before throwing away
Mix paint or ink with water to make color potions or spell jars
Collect markers, crayons, colored pencils, pens, highlighters, etc to use for colorful written spells, amplify sigils, and to strengthen spells
Illustrate your grimoire, book of shadows, dream journal, etc with images that you feel are important or doodles to add your own extra touch to the spells and information inside. Make it your own
Paint, draw, or design your desires or wishes and charge the art in the moonlight to help welcome those things into your life. Keep the piece of art in your room or home
Use lines from your written poetry, stories, lyrics, etc as spell incantations or lines when writing spells to make them more personal
Use old sketchbooks, idea notebooks, free write journals, etc for bibliomancy
Try/Practice automatic writing or drawing for divination and spirit communication
Make collages out of posters, drawings, photos, writings, poems, etc on your wall to act as a low key altar

moonlightacademy

Basics of Kitchen and Cottage Witchcraft

moonlightacademy

Kitchen witches believe that the kitchen is a sacred place where all of the magick happens. They focus on the use of edible ingredients and kitchen tools. A cottage witch is a witch that brings magick into the house and are protectors of the hearth and home. They bring cheer and warmth to every room they enter. Their focuses are on the family, home, and daily needs. Both the cottage and Kitchen witch believe that by honoring the home it honors the Gods and Goddesses. They bring magick into everyday life and daily chores.

Ways a Kitchen and Cottage witch can bring magick into a home:

Create a kitchen altar
Stock your shelves with herbs and spices
Bring maximum feng-shui to your home
Keep the home physically and spiritually clean
Paint the house walls in colours that bring happiness, warmth, and coziness
When making a sandwich put mustard or mayo sigils on it
When making meals add herbs that correspond to your magickal needs
Decorate the home according to the sabbats
Brew some special teas
Make your own candles, salves, and tinctures.
Make offerings to Gods and Goddesses of hearth and home.
Ask your deities to keep your house safe and healthy.
Create your own recipes and add your own touch of magick to them
Put intent into everything you cook and clean
Make an incantation or short song to sing while you stir.
Inscribe your wooden spoons with sigils
Carve your wooden shelves with sigils - carve them at the bottom of the cupboard to remain discreet
Craft oils, incense, soaps, potions, and salves.
Make herbal remedies
Chant while cleaning or preparing a meal
Use numerology in their practices by the number of times they stir or the number of times they knead dough.
During the mead moon, brew mead with magickal intent.
Decorate the home with your own art or art done by your children, poems, knits, woodcraft’s, paintings, quilts, diy’s, or tapestries.
Enchant your crafts.
Use weather magick, candle magick, ribbon charms, and anything else used to add magick to your home.
Honour the ancestors.
Bless the home.
Start a garden and will it with organic and in season fruits and vegetables.
Charge herbal oils by moonlight or candlelight to heal, bless the home or to clean and protect the woodwork she polishes with it.
Scatter charm bags, witches ladders, chimes, and bells around the home.
Grow an indoor jungle
Learn herbal remedies to treat MINOR injuries
If you work with meat make sure to thank and honour the animal it came from.
Sing or play music to raise good vibrations
Bake and cut cookies in shapes to match your intentions
Provide someone in need with a free meal
Volunteer at a local soup kitchen to bring magick into it

What their altar may display:

Candles
Tools used for sacred use
Four elements
Statues of the honoured deities
A doll weaved of corn
A kitchen witch’s altar is often displayed in the corner of the kitchen and is not permanent
Food made by the witch left as an offering

Some beliefs followed:

Magick is not used to inflict pain on others or block anyone’s free will
Believe in living simple lives
Believe in using organic items, products that aren’t animal tested, recycling, and composting.
Creativity is a form of devotion
Keep peace in the household
May the home always contain good food, good talk, and good company
Welcome guests into the home with open arms

Cottage and Kitchen witch superstitions/wives tales:

Stir clockwise to bring good luck
Never stir with a knife as it is considered bad luck
Place a piece of amethyst near the stove top to make the food cooked there tastes better
If an apple bursts in the oven while baking it means good luck is on its way for the cook
Eggs that are cracked while they boil is a sign that visitors are on their way
Dropping silverware means that company is coming
Spilling water on the table cloth means that rain is on its way
Seeing a spider in the house is good luck, killing it is bad luck
Wild animal tracks in the snow encircling your house is a sign of good luck and protection
When your cupboard doors are left opens it means that people are gossiping about you
If a broom drops across the doorway it means that you will soon head off on a journey
If you spill salt throw it over your left shoulder to undo any bad luck
To keep evil spirits away chop an onion in half and place it on the window sill

Chosen tools:

Wooden spoons
Knife
Bowls
Cooking pot or cauldron
A ritual knife used to only cut spiritual ties
A Fire place
Broom
Mortar and pestle
Kettle
Jars and bottles
Sewing kit
Cook books

Spells are cast to bring:

Healing
Prosperity
Protection
Abundance
Happiness
Fertility
Harmony
Peace

Deities worked with:

Hestia
Frigga
Brighid
Demeter

May your house stay warm and full of magick!

==Moonlight Academy==

astrocrow

quiet witch aesthetic

astrocrow

❦ writing down and burning your spells, incantations, or intentions

❦ using meditation as a means of thanking/dismissing spirits or other powers

❦ channeling energy through memories and emotions

❦ communicating only through thoughts and facial expressions

❦ shying away from large, grandiose offerings or spells and instead opting for those that are discreet

❦ worrying that your craft is not as strong because you are not vocal

❦ lighting candles and lying crystals around the rim of your bathtub and energizing them with the sound of flowing water rather than your voice

❦ sigils are an absolute lifesaver. you can’t speak drawings

❦ your craft is personal. you keep it to yourself and rarely share your experiences with anybody but your grimoire, and maybe your cat

❦ 90% of your craft is solely based around meditation

moonlightacademy

A Secret Witches Guide to Concealing your craft

moonlightacademy

Make sure practicing witchcraft in your home does not put you in any imminent danger!

Drink tea - A mundane thing, make it a daily thing in order to make people less suspicious. Say short incantations while stirring in your honey.

Keep a small plain notebook to use as your grimoire - Use this to write all your witchy ideas in.

Find a well concealed hiding place to put all of your witchy stuff - Put anything that you want to keep concealed in here.

Create a portable altar - One easy enough to take down and hide quickly. Draw an altar in your grimoire for a simple portable altar.

Meditate - Sit somewhere you won’t be disturbed and meditate. You don’t need any special supplies to meditate therefore, it is easy to hide.

Paint your nails to match your intent

Glamour your Clothes

Braid your hair while say an incantation

Trace sigils around your room - Use your fingers so they remain discreet and charge them with intent.

Glamour a piece of jewelry to wear daily

Keep plants and candles in your room - No one will draw conclusions if these are in your room.

Decorate a shoe box to dedicate to your practice - Put any witchy things you want if you are unable to find a place to hide your stuff.

Use knot magick when tying your shoes

Cleanse your room and home using intentions

Water your plants with growth spells - Speak to them while doing this in order to help them grow.

Do your casting in a discreet location outside - this way no one can interrupt you when you are in the middle of a ritual.

Use color magick when picking out what you want to wear

Use scented candles - Although lots of candles may raise suspicion, if they are scented they won’t draw much attention.

Write sigils in lotion - Cover your body in lotion sigils, in a couple minutes they will fade away and not be visible.

Stir counter clockwise - In your baking or your tea to banish negative energy.

Use playing cards instead of tarot cards

Go for hikes - A way to be with nature and not raise any suspicion.

Clean your room - This is the equivalence of cleansing your room.

May the moon light your path!

==Moonlight Academy==

Untitled

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Wonder Woman, a summary

Artsy Witch Ideas/Tips

Basics of Kitchen and Cottage Witchcraft

quiet witch aesthetic

A Secret Witches Guide to Concealing your craft